i had lots to tell him...we went to Bbox and next thing went home..but i really wish to say everything before he go in as things might change and i dont wanna regret not saying....i went home to get the goggles and went all the way to his hse as an excuse to pass him tt...but it was actually to see him and wanna talk to him....but i dk why WHY WHY whenever i see him or when he starts talking ( wo shuo bu chu kou) than he will start shouting...
so what happened was...
he flag many cabs but i didnt wanna leave yet....i cried.....yeah (F myself for crying so easily....i hate myself i cant act strong and not cry for once !!! )i always ask the same question and he always reply and repeat agn...i guess he's tired so am i ...but at least there was a chance he explained....he keep telling me i keep wanna change and i didnt....yes i admit...abt the sensitvie and silly things..but i'm trying really trying hard..but mb when i get hurt i expressed it tt way ......i regret for doing and sending him those sms because mb if i didnt we wld be tgt...i asked if he has feelings he said he dont wanna ans..later he said NO...den later say have is have but because i haven changed....if u dont love me just say so ....!!!.he keep telling me his curretn gf is play one so why i doing all this...he says agn he can break with her if i want to and all...but i know it wont help ease my pain...even though its playing i wld stil feel hurt and all....last night fianlly most of all things came out..even abt those overseas gals he was with..all the happy times after we broke up too...sometimes i dk if to believe him as u know i know his pattern really well..but i still chose to believe agn.....its a good time i give up because i know even though he says the future he doesnt know if we wld be tgt...i feel there isnt..but what he says i feel there's hope....i think i just let things be....i still will be there fore him when he need me...hopefully i wld change..i know this is the thousand times...but i'm happy he talked because sometimes he just keep quiet....i asked for a last hug....but i dk why he didnt return it.....the feeling was great but it wld be better if he embraces his arms ard my waist too....after tt he farted agn and i started to laugh agn.....actually still got lots to say ..but i already tired and words just cld not come out....and therefore we bid goodbye.....i really cant bear and i really miss him alot alot...but i cant do anything about it....
just wish him safe and sound.....
i really love you ,alvin....
still hoping we wld be tgt someday agn.....
(10.09.09) day 1 he's in army..
"Coz you are the Brightest Star and I'm in love with who you are."
1:10 PM
1:10 PM
